Confusion

Travelling is fun, that is reason why I'm gone.
I haven't found yet my one. But I'm sure,
Sooner or later, I will found one. I wander and wander, till I suddenly wonder.
Why I am here alone with my self.
Till I found the peaceful pace of nature and life.

I still wonder what life really means, as I walk and walk, I stepped upon my consciousness that it was just me making my life so hard and painful. That is the reason why I wander and wander.

In times of sudden pain I felt, I just looked up and think that sunset is coming, then there will be new tomorrow. But waking up with such burden I carry everyday. It makes my arms and shoulders feel tired. And I loose my consciousness again.

I fell into a night of slumber, near to end my life of agony and pain, surrendering all my deeds, purities and sins. I just can't take it all.

But when I was falling in the bottom pit of nothingness. I saw rays of light shining towards my failing direction. So then I realized, that being a coward will give you no hope, no direction, and hopeless indeed.

In humanity, I swear to be bold and brave to face any challenges that I may encounter in dreary path of sadness and guilt. Rebuilding myself, and getting to know who am I. I really SWEAR!

Breakup!

Unag-una sa lahat, napaka sakit mahiwalayan, napaka sakit talaga. Yong iniwan ka lang bigla, diba masakit yun. Ako ay may isang kaibigan nagdadalamhati dahil sa sakit na kanyang nararamdamn. Hindi niya mawari ang kanyang sarili, hindi niya maikubli ang kanyang matinding nararamdamn sa kanyang irog. Sa tagal na nilang nagkalayo at hindi na naguusap, hindi na niya namalayan, siya ay nalilipasan na ng panahon. Nagkimkim ng galit at ang sarili ay nababalisa. Sa tindi ng kanyang inabot pilit niya pang pinagtatanggol ang kanyang irog na matagal na siyang kinalimutan at pinalitan.

Sa tindi ng kanyang pag-ibig tila ba, nalimutan na niya na siya ay isang dalgaita at may marami pang magagawa sa buhay. Sa tindi ng kanyang dinaranas, gusto niya itong makausap, tila ba ang panahon ay hindi sumasang-ayon sa kanila. Pilit niyang tinatanggi na mahal pa niya ang kanyang sinintang irog na matagal na siyang inilibing at kinalimutan. Sa araw ng kanilang pag uusap, hindi niya mawari ang kanyang pakiramdam, siya ay umaasa na tila naghahangad na sila ay magkausap.

Pero ang panahon na ang dumikta na hindi pa pepwede. Sa mga araw na parang bang siya ay nababalisa, natutulala at naluluha. Pinipilit niya paring maging malakas na walang kapares. Dumaan ang mga buwang tila bang naikubli na niya ang kanyang tunay na nararamdaman, at ang galit niya ay nanatili sa kanyang puso. 

Ngunit sa tindi ng kanyang pagmamahal, tila ba isang tao ang bumaba at nagsabi ng mga katagang "Gusto ko kayong mag-usap, hindi ko gusto sa mga araw na darating. Kung kayo ay magkita sa isang lugar, hindi ko alam ang mararamdaman, kung niisa sa inyu o kayong dalawa ay hindi magsasalita. At ihahambing ang isa't-isa sa mga bagay na hindi naman kaaya-aya." Tila ba siya ay nahimasmasan sa pagdating nga kanyang kaibigan. Pero siya ay may itinanim na pagdadalawang-isip sa mga magaganap. At kanyang kaibigan ay para bang nababaliw na sa kaiisip, kung mangyari ang mga iniisip niya. Ayaw ng kaibigan niyang mapahiya sa dalawa.

Kaya ang Dios ang nagbibigay sa akin ng pag-gabay, at sila ay aking idinadalangin sa May Kapal.

~CJAP

My BFForever!!

 Yung kaibigan mong ganito, yung kaibigan mong mukhang tanga. Pero love na love mo, I can't find anything like her, a close friend of mine, that is like my sister in the other mother. 

Yung ganito ang gingawa niya habang nag saskype. The eff, I really missed my lovely bff ever, siya yung nakakaalam sa lahat ng stress ko, depression ko, at mga secrets ko.

Miss you lat, Sana magkita na tayo ulit, parang ilang taon ng hindi nagkita, last Januray pa nga yung last, hahaha nakakatuwa, namimiss ko yung shoppe 24 moment natin, hahaha ilang bottles yun huii!!??? hahahaha Miss you!!! Muwaaahhh!!!

Kita naman tayo sa December, ahahahaha, miss you so much!

Special Wedding!! Love lots Auntie and Uncle Ling.

The day was filled with tears of joy and gladness. That the tying of the knot will be witnessed by the crowd. The feeling of excitement is a fulfillment of their dreams, that the both sides have already committed their life for good and the bad. No matter how others say something about them, they will become a couple that stands from those different circumstances, trials, and temptations. 

This photo was taken at Phela Grande, General Santos City

The family of the bride and groom have gathered to their most important event that happens only once. The two hearts becoming one, exchanging vows and promises. The overflowing happiness and love filled the garden. The running tears of  happiness filled the eyes of the families who witnessed the special day of combining hearts.

The preparation of the bride and groom it was a marvelous preparation. The groom's men, and the bride's maids were handsomely and beautifully dressed as what the couple instructed.

There are PrenUp photos that were taken inside Green Leaf Hotel, General Santos City. I can sense the mixed emotions which my uncle [the groom] feels, he's feeling nervous at the same he feels excited. May someday if I get married I can feel the same too. 

Seeing the bride, I really make a  peek inside the reserved room for the bride. I saw my aunt [to be] she was definitely gorgeous and happy. She cared a lot, she cared for us, and to my Nanay [the groom's mother]. The hospitality she showed was tremendously amazing, her family too was one of the best family I've ever met. On the very day that we arrived, they welcomed us with a warm smiles and we are pleased with their personality. At first I was like, they have different auras they are really different.

Ate Jerill's mom is, I can't say anything, they are a happy family and super warm. 

My mom's story when he saw my tatay [my grandfather's brother] walks down the aisle, she saw my late grandfather she cried too much. Because my grandfather's wish is to see my uncle's wedding, but my grandfather always insisted that maybe he can't attend anymore, because he's tired, and want to rest. And year before my uncle's special day, my grandfather died. And we are happy that we saw him on that wedding.

This was fun wedding full of memories that is indeed worth to be keep and to be cherish. I want to write everything, but it's enough. Those memories will kept and be remembered till my wedding comes in the near future.

PS we love tatay even though you did not witnessed uncle's wedding, but we're happy and we'll know we will meet on the great wedding which Jesus prepared for us. Love you Tay!!

Wedding is a serious thing!!

It is our dream to become a bride and a groom, it is our dream to have a marvelous wedding. Becoming a couple is not that simple, there are circumstances that you need to be patient as a husband, need more sacrifices to satisfy the needs of your family. You need to be the strong foundation for your family, if you are a strong foundation for your family, your family can stand any storms that may came in your way.

Maybe there are moments that you argue and that argument may result to possible break up. As a man of honor and as a man who gains respect and responsibility, do not let the the foundation of your family ruin and turned into ashes. Settle everything, and settle it with a word and patience. You cannot cast away your family in an instant, you are being a coward who is afraid to face any circumstances. Let the foundation stand still, because you promised in front of the altar or in front of the judge that you will love each other "Till death do us part".

Before the day ends!! GOOD NIGHT!!!

"Tomorrow is another day, leave thy burdens which you carried yesterday. Each day is precious, just think for another possibility."

~CJAP [LDCU]

Good Night!! Philippines!!!

Don't be a social climber!

Photo: koyjuan_fotografie
Entitled: I Am Different

People around you tortured you, mocked you, and he worst they kill you with their words. We may feel different from them, in society their are classes, the poor, the middle, the rich, and the super rich. The problem  is us, we want to fit in, we want to be good in their eyes. We want to be at their level, but "NO" you can't. This is the reason why people mocked you, because of your attitude that is not pleasing in the glaring eyes of the society. 

Tagalog na to ha, hirap na mag english. Ang problema kasi, tayo, kahit nga ako di ko maiwang lumevel sa mga friends kong mayayaman. Kasi ang reason is ayaw mong mapahiya, we are discontented with the things we have kasi. We want what they have, kahit wala kanang mabili, dapat may ganun ka pra level kayo. Kahit man lang sa bagay kalaevel tayo. 

May kasabihan nga "You can't please everybody."

Totoo yan, sa bawat mata na nakatingin sayo, di maiwasan ang criticism. Nagising na ako sa realidad ehh, tinigilan ko ang feeling marangya naawa na ako sa magulang ko. Isipin niyo nalang, baka someday, you will reach the peak and be one of them. Try lang, baka naman, walang impossible sa mga taong nagsisikap, hindi yong nakaupo ka lang, hingi ka ng hingi di kana naawa sa mga magulang mo!  Wag kang feeling baka ano pa magawa mo jan na masama!!!

"Some of the disease are curable, the only thing that is not is being a SOCIAL CLIMBER!"

~Writer: CJAP

[Liceo de Cagayan University]